Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize