Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
