he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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