So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
