i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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