Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
