there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
