u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
