im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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