You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
