Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
