You can't motorboat a personality
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I have aggressive nipples.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
