When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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