I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
