I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
