Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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