margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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