I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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