according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm at about main and main street
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
