Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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