he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
