wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
