Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
