I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
