can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
