I love having hate sex.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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