I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
