did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
