Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize