For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
