Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
