he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
