you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
