I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I could fuck to npr.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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