Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
