yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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