bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I need water and some morals
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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