i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Randomize
