Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
