My friends, they love my intelligence
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
