Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
