i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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