don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
