Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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