He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
