Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
