when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
