Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
