So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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