sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
