everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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