So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
