Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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