aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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