hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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