I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
