You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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