I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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