come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
