i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
