Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
