What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
