I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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