U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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