dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
