Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize