so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
