So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
