You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
can u get pink eye on your cock?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
